For Immediate Release:
Right at Home of
Central New Jersey sponsored one of the latest episodes of Approved Senior
Network TV’s new Facebook Live Video program: “When Is It Time To Ask for Senior Care Help?” with Valerie VanBooven, RN, BSN as the Host.
 |
| Click HERE to Watch This Episode |
Right at Home of Central New Jersey offers
in-home companionship and personal care and assistance to seniors and disabled
adults who want to continue to live independently. The Right at Home of
Central New Jersey office is a locally owned and operated franchise office
of Right at Home, Inc., serving the communities of Middlesex and Northern
Monmouth Counties.
For more information, contact Right at Home of Central New
Jersey at:
Full Transcript: (Some typos are attributed to transcribing)
Have
you been thinking about... maybe... Involving a little bit of extra help in the
life of your aging loved- one? Today, that is what we are going to talk about.
Hi,
this is Valerie VanBooven, with Approved Senior Network, and on today's episode
of the Approved Senior Network TV, we're going to talk about:
When it's time to ask for help. Or when is it time to involve
some sort of care in your senior loved one's life?
That is
a challenging topic to address. But, as a Registered Nurse since 1992, and
having helped a lot of seniors and families in that time, I'll give you my
perspective on when it's time to ask for help.
And
usually, if you're considering asking for help or you're thinking it's almost
time, it's probably way past time to ask for help. And the reason I say that is
that as caregivers, especially as family caregivers, we often wait too long to
enlist the help of professional caregivers.
We feel
stressed out, burned out. We know that mom or dad are not safe in their own
home anymore by themselves all day long, all night long.
But we
have jobs and we have kids and we have to do all the things we need to do to
make ends meet. So adding on the task of taking care of mom and dad is
sometimes more than a family can take on.
Sometimes
it's not as hard for a son or daughter or a grandchild to help take care of mom
or dad or grandma or grandpa.
But on
the other hand, it can come to the point where help is definitely needed.
Usually, the help that's needed can start out as home care. Now that's not in
every case, but in a lot of cases, having some companion services come in
someone to befriend Grandma, Grandpa or Mom and Dad, someone to help with light
housekeeping light laundry, walk down to the end of the driveway and get the
mail, sit and play cards with them, cook them or just make them a light lunch.
Take them to doctor's appointments or to socialize. Maybe they have a group of
ladies and get together with her, a group of guys for cards. Or maybe they like
to go to church on Sundays. Having some transportation is important if they're
no longer able to drive. So usually when we ask for help, um, we've already
maybe we feel like we can't ask neighbors or friends or a church, which we
should be able to do that.
But
sometimes that's a difficult thing to ask. The next step is to ask for
professional help and that is enlisting the help of a home care agency and
caregiver to come in and relieve the family caregiver for a few hours a day.
Maybe mom just needs somebody to sit with her during the evening hours.
Maybe
you need someone there all night so you can sleep because your loved one is not
sleeping well. Maybe they have their sun-downing, or they have dementia and
they're confused when they wake up. Or perhaps they just need somebody to check
in on them during the middle of the day. You know, maybe a four hour visit.
Get the
lunch fixed, make sure if they want to go anywhere, or if they have groceries
that need to be picked up. That that's taking care of even grocery delivery.
These days can be scheduled during the time when a caregiver is there, so no
one has to go to the grocery. They can have groceries delivered, and someone is
there to help put that stuff away. So there are all kinds of help that you can
start with. It doesn't have to be 24 hours a day, seven days a week. Help in
the home.
It can
be a few hours a day, maybe every other day, a couple of days a week, and then
you kind of ease into it.
Some
people will tell me. Well, my mom or dad will not let a stranger into the home,
so there are different ways to introduce this type of care.
First
of all, it doesn't have to be a stranger after they've met the caregiver. They
can be their friend, so it depends on how receptive your aging loved one is.
But
sometimes we need to have hard conversations. Either we allow "suzie"
to come in the house three times a week and help with some light housekeeping
and laundry. Or we're going to have to think of alternatives because you can't
live like this in an unsafe way with not having your laundry done and not
having your house cleaned and not having a good meal every day of the week. We
need to fix that. You need to make me or help me as a family member, as a daughter,
a son as a grandchild.
Feel
better about what's going on here? I want you to be safe. I want you to stay in
your own home. But we have to start down this road of, you know, having
somebody here when I can't be here. Or maybe you're a full time caregiver.
You're there all the time. 24 hours a day, seven days a week. But you just want
to get away. You know that commercial? Well, if you need a little help, it's
called respite care.
Take
your break, take. You know, two 6 hour days a week and go do something else or
do nothing. Sit in a hot bath, read a book, go to the movies, go shopping, get
some things done that you need to get done. Take a break.
And
that is what in home care and caregiving is all about. These are difficult
conversations, tohave sometimes, and I would say that if you've been thinking
about it, if you've been investigating it, if you have been feeling stressed
out feeling like you just don't know how you can do this for another month or
another week or another year. Then it's really time to reach out for help,
really. Time to take a break and let someone else fill that position for you,
just temporarily or on an ongoing basis.
Reaching
out for help means picking up the phone and placing a call and talking to the
folks at home care agency and finding out what it is they offer finding out how
much it costs because costs are gonna vary all across the country and the level
of care that your loved one needs. Well, there's lots of care, very
individualized, very high intensity versus just a companion.
Someone
who is easy to work with just needs a little help because they don't drive
anymore. Now there's different levels of care. Also, if it's a couple who both
need a little help, then two people is a different cost than taking care of
just one person in the house. So ask lots of questions, talk to them about your
fears, talk to them about you know, the the concerns you have about having a
stranger come into the home.
They've
been doing this a long time, and they can oversee that caregiver and make sure
that everything is done up to your standards and, you know, working together
with them the way things should be.
The
other option that you have, of course, when you're thinking about care is
moving completely out of the house and into independent living or or assisted
living.
So
independent senior living can mean that you are independent and you have to
remain independent, and you are receiving no care at all.
But
you're in and sort of an apartment style living or condo style living. And they
do have meals, some, some do, some don't.
But so
a lot of them do have meal service provided, so you can go down for dinner and
go down for lunch. You can go for breakfast.
They
have entertainment, they have clubs. They have buses that take or vans that
take people to wal mart and shopping and two other events all the time. All you
have to do is sign up, so that's more of a senior independent living.
And I
would say that would be perfect for a widow or a widower who does not want to
have to take care of a big yard anymore or a big giant house anymore, and they
can be independent. But the situation they're kind of and now is way more than
they need and way more than they can maintain on their own.
So
maybe downsizing and moving into a little one bedroom or two bedroom sort of
apartment or condo would be a better idea. Assisted living, on the other hand,
is when folks need a little bit more help. They're fairly independent, probably
not driving anymore.
But
they do get two meals a day, at least maybe three, and all that's included in
their rent. Along with utilities, they may have to pay extra for a landline
phone, and they may have to pay extra for laundry. Service is or housekeeping,
but through the assisted living facility will do all of those things, so
there's lots of different ways to get care.
There
are lots of different places to call and ask about pricing and services another
one. I want to mention that we don't hear of as often, but definitely exists,
and definitely helpful is adult day centers and adult day care can be for
seniors of any need, any level of needs, so they can be for very independent
people who just, you know, needs a more socialization during the day. Maybe
they go four hours a day and they play cards or do activities or go on a bus to
an event.
And it
could be for folks who have more needs, maybe who are in another stage of
dementia, and they really need to be watched during the day. But they're okay
at night.
Or, you
know, they just need a little bit more socialization and activity. They need to
have their medications given to them while they're at their day center. They're
all kinds of different levels of need and care, and some are more affordable
than others.
But I
would encourage you all that if you're a family caregiver, whether you live with
a person, you're caring for a spouse or as a if you're the son, the daughter of
the grand child, to reach out for help so that you can take a break and get
some rest.
I would
also recommend that if you don't live there 24 7 with that person who needs care
that you investigate having someone come in just a few times a day for short
shifts to kind of ease into the situation where they might need more care down
the road.
You
start that relationship, and now, then it won't be such a big deal. If there's
a crisis in the future and they need more care, they will have already been
accustomed to having a senior care helper in their house. Those are the kinds
of opportunities that are out there to help everyone stay safe.
Stay in
their home longer if you wish, and to give the caregiver a break. It's okay to
take a break. It's okay to hire help.
It's
okay to say, I need an entire day to myself to get some things done, and I need
to walk out of here and know that my parent or grand parent is safe.
It's
okay to be that way and to hire someone tough conversations. But I know that in
every family there's different dynamics and different things going on, and you
can have that conversation with the person that you are most worried about and
say I just want you to be safe.
I just
want to feel better knowing that you're home and that someone is there for you.
If you should fall, if you should have problems, if you should need help, you
know, doing the littlest things and and usually a parent will come around once
they realize that their child is asking for help.
So I
hope that this gives you some idea of when it's okay to ask for help. It's
always okay to ask. It's always okay to call a homecare agency and just talk to
them. Talk to their intake coordinator or the person that does there in home
assessments or admissions.
Talk to
them about your specific situation. They've seen it all by now, and they can
answer any questions you have. And when a parent is resistant to getting help,
they often have amazing tips and can talk to that parent as well and help them
understand the position that you're in and the and the reason that you're
reaching out for help.
Let
them do their job, they can do it and they can help you with those words and
those conversations that is, when asked for care and help. Our show today is
sponsored by right at home of central new jersey.
I have
them up on my screen here. You can call them. You can go to their website. Also
have that in the comments with with this video. So if you're looking for help
and you're in the central new jersey area, please visit our friends at right at
home of central new jersey.
