There's a media stereotype of grouchy old couples getting on each other's nerves after years of marriage but studies show that most older people in long-term marriages are relatively happy.
But with age comes an increased risk of illness and disability, and a greater likelihood that one spouse will be providing care for the other and the percentage of spouses who become caregivers is growing.
When a senior is living with any disabling condition, having a spouse or partner to help is an advantage. Caregiver spouses and partners help keep track of their partner's doctor appointments, medications and other health routines, which can lower their loved one's risk of isolation and depression.
But taking care of someone you love can bring about stress for both the caregiver and the person who needs the care. April is Stress Awareness Month and, since its inauguration in 1992, it focuses on the dangers of stress and highlights successful ways to cope with it.
If you or a loved one is providing care for a spouse or partner, here are four important things to consider:
Take care of the marriage or partnership. A good marriage or partnership promotes good health, but a troubled relationship doesn't. Taking care of someone else can be very stressful and can have a negative effect on your own health, which, in turn, increases stress … a cycle to be avoided. Practicing meditation or talking to someone you trust or exercising (even just walking on a treadmill) can be a great way to clear your mind and reduce stress.
Take care of the caregiver. While receiving care benefits the ill spouse, providing care may have the opposite impact on the well spouse.
Caregivers often fail to get enough sleep, eat well, and keep their own doctor appointments. They suffer emotional distress as their loved one and life changes. If you are experiencing stress, look into counseling and support groups, or visit your own doctor to ask for some help to keep you on track.
Ask for help. Studies show that compared to adult children and other family caregivers, spouse caregivers are much less likely to ask for help from family and friends. The caregiving spouse may believe they are the only one who can provide the best care — and the care recipient may prefer it that way! Talk to your family and friends. You may be surprised at how much they are willing to help!
Call in professionals. The help of family and friends may not be enough. Fortunately, there are many resources caregivers can access. Your local senior services agency can recommend care support services, as well as caregiver support. An aging life care professional (geriatric care manager) can locate services and help the couple navigate the changes in their lives.
Professional in-home care also is available — everything from home health services to assist with complex medical tasks, to less costly nonmedical care. In-home caregivers can provide assistance with:
- personal care such as bathing, dressing and grooming;
- respite for the caregiver spouse;
- help with keeping the home safe and in good order;
- providing support that allows the couple to focus on their relationship and things they like to do.
Caregiving can be hard, no doubt about it. But many studies show that the intimacy of the caregiver relationship can make a marriage stronger. Getting help makes that more likely … “in sickness, and in health.”
Please call Beth Sholom, Owner/Executive Director of Right at Home of Central New Jersey to let us know how we can help you and your family. We want both our clients and their caregiver spouses and family members to be as free from stress as possible.
We provide care from a few hours a day to overnight shifts to live-in care. We'll work with you to come up with the best plan for your family and always be available 24/7 to help. We care for your family as we would for our own!
About Right at Home of Central New Jersey – Right at Home offers in-home companionship and personal care and assistance to seniors and disabled adults who want to continue to live independently. The Right at Home of Central New Jersey office is a locally owned and operated franchise office of Right at Home, Inc., serving the communities of Middlesex and Northern Monmouth Counties.
For more information, contact Right at Home of Central New Jersey at
Excerpted from and reprinted with permission from Caring Right at Home eNewsletter, www.caringnews.com. Copyright, 2019, IlluminAge Communication Partners.
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